Can you define moments in your life that changed your perspectives and motivated you to make a change for the better?
Mom or Dad if you are reading this stop! Seriously stop!!
My parents and siblings are living and we do talk but radical transparency does not exist in our family culture and I’m okay with that.
In grade nine I met my first boyfriend, he played basketball, was French and my friends accepted him. I, of course, was unable to foresee the shadow that would creep into this right of passage.
Within eight months he would be addicted to cocaine and I would be knocked off my youthful foundation.
The relationship was over, he wanted to talk. I don’t remember the words he spoke, as he rolled back the long sleeve, he was wearing that summer day. An array of small bruises wavered up his forearm, track marks. His message – he had been sharing needles!
I have no memory of seeing him again although he called several months later and was living in Quebec.
Cocaine was introduced to the circle via my boyfriend’s Uncle who arrived from Quebec. Marijuana, hash, alcohol, and acid were all readily available options at the time. I was aware others, including my boyfriend, were snorting cocaine, my tongue would go numb while kissing him otherwise I was ignorant.
I never once allowed myself permission to participate, I saw nothing but destruction, I was familiar with the danger of cocaine. My neighbor and friend was groomed for the streets with cocaine. I also was afraid I would like it. I had barely the money to supply my periodic use of cheaper evils. The core group unraveled. I stopped using all but alcohol, tried to establish new relationships and goals.
The fork in the road left me feeling lonely and lost but the alternative was not what I wanted for myself.
I was extremely fortunate as High School offered a new pool of friends, alcohol was the socially appropriate drug of choice. My new goal, become a Correctional Officer. I went to school, worked at a local doctor’s office and helped out with my grandmother who was living with us due to Alzheimer's. When the weekend arrived, I would bus or travel back and forth with family to Guysborough. I was fortunate I stayed with my brother and later at my boyfriends'.
Do you have a fork in the road moment in your life? You likely have several! How did you adapt and what did you learn?
“Imperfect Perspectives" will consist of written and video format. The writing and videos will be imperfect as I am the composer and director and I am perfectly imperfect! Be genuine, have the hard conversations and be compassionate to self and other. Be empowered!