Increase Your Chances of Success with Effective Communication
As a Social + Emotional Intelligence Coach©, consultant and workshop facilitator meeting with individuals face to face is a boutique service. Individuals/teams/families are already busy, running to another appointment is not an appealing prospect. Meeting individuals at their place of business, local coffee shop, park, restaurant or home (family session) provides the individual an opportunity to pick a place of comfort and convenience.
Engaging with others within their environments allows a coach to observe, provide timely feedback and support, as individuals define and adopt new strategies to reach desired goals.
As a coach face to face interactions, in diverse environments, allows for a greater understanding of an individual’s patterns. Communication is a complex process and has more to do with your non-verbal's, body language than what is being said. http://www.study-body-language.com/Verbal-and-non-verbal-communication.html#sthash.Y5VjUY7g.dpbs
Our body language portrays 93% of a person’s message.
If your job is to facilitate social and emotional intelligence development how can you provide your customer the best service via phone or video chats? I have asked other coaches this question, they state "I can see my client", yes you can but are you providing the best experience possible to assist your clients succeed? I believe that there is value in occasionally having a session via skype due to illness, travel or weather but I personally feel communication has an increased level of effectiveness when face to face.
Social and Emotional Intelligence Profiling does utilize technology. Individuals or teams who chose to participate in one of the profile styles will receive a link via there chosen e-mail to fill out their assessment or to provide feedback via a 360 multi rater profile. The data provided from answers is compiled and sent to me to review before the results are debriefed with the individual/team. Exercises are also provided to individuals via the internet to broaden awareness of self or discover strategies to develop specific competencies.
As we engage in change or as we support a change in other, we need to practice compassion.
Agents of change study individual behavior, there cause and whether these behaviors are viewed as negative or positive within their social context. Providing self-awareness exercises focusing on, emotional awareness, accurate assessment, and personal power while introducing alternate strategies to fulfill needs is essential to foster growth/change.
As a Social + Emotional Intelligence Certified Profiler and Coach©, providing opportunities for individuals to enhance awareness and practice new strategies in a psychologically safe relationship is a key part of my role.
As we repeat a behavior brain plasticity will allow new paths to develop as previously established behavioral paths grow in. This takes time, three to six months with support and encouragement. Unfortunately, individuals attempting to change behavior, and their supports, often become frustrated early in the process. This frustration often influences us to go back to old habits, compassion for self and other is necessary, to fuel the growth mindset.
Unfortunately those who are closest to us often are those who try and sabotage the individuals trying to make positive changes for their well being. When other in our lives make changes we also must change as well. Think of someone in your life who may have tried to quit smoking, alter their eating habits or exercise. If you smoked with this individual a pattern of behaviour has been established because they are no longer smoking it impacts you and your behavior. Although you may be happy for them how many times do you drop by their office as you head out for a cigarette, Their change in behavior is impacting your relationship with them.
Supporting change is a long term commitment.
The next time you or someone you are supporting tries to make a positive behavioral change remember to keep realistic expectations when putting a timeline on desired change results. Just as a path in the woods takes time to grow in, when not in use, your brains behavioral path will also require time to fill in as you begin a new path. There will be days where you engage in old patterns, this is normal, do not beat yourself up. Recognize the slip and get back on track. As long as you are trying you are moving forward.
Be compassionate with self and other, these behaviors you established may have been repeated for years and years, therefore, don’t expect to change them in only a couple of months. You are worthy, if at first, you don’t succeed, try to figure out what roadblocks you encountered and how to overcome them when you try again. As you make progress celebrate and reflect on why that progress was possible. Every time we set a goal for self and we achieve it we are establishing self-efficacy which also enhances self esteem.
Life is challenging take the time to acknowledge individuals as they try to make positive changes in their life and celebrate daily until the new pattern is established.
Teamwork and collaboration is a soft skill that can be developed. If assessed do you feel you would have a strong or a challenged teamwork and collaboration competency?
Enhancing our emotional awareness is a life long process, be compassionate with self and others as you take the time to reflect and identify how you are feeling in various contexts. You are worth it!
Over the last few months, I have had several interesting dialogues regarding our core emotions. What inspired these conversations was a statistic I found while learning about emotional intelligence. Only 36% of 500 000 people tested could identify their emotions as they happened. It was reassuring to know I was not alone but scary as well.
Why is this the reality for so many of us?
Research indicates that we have core emotions, up to twenty-seven. psychcentral.com/news/2017/09/08/new-study-emotions-abound-with-27-different-varieties These core emotions have a variety of feelings attached to them and vary in intensity. My social and emotional intelligence workbook provides three back to back pages of defined feelings, no wonder there is confusion when trying to express ourselves.
We are not taught about emotions in school although my little neighbor can rhyme off primary colors. If we are not enlightened in the school system then the responsibility falls on parents who themselves often do not understand emotions/feelings and have their own perspectives/biases due to they're upbringing (nurture).
We can enhance emotional awareness.
The knowledge provided through research and conversations with others, regarding their own challenges with acknowledging and expressing their feelings, inspired me to create our, “Emotion 101” workshop. This workshop can be adapted to all age groups. Our goal is to empower kids, adolescents and adults through education to enhance self and other awareness as well as self and other management.
Would you like to enhance emotional awareness?
The program facilitates opportunities to enhance emotional-awareness and discover appropriate strategies to attain personal power. Learning about self can be difficult we don’t always like ourselves or our behavior. We need to move away from judgement as we learn, lean into the discomfort of our realities and start considering change strategies. Compassion for self and others can assist us reach this goal.
Change requires a consistent effort, support, and flexibility as strategies will not always be successful. Being realistic with your change expectations is also necessary don't set yourself up for failure. Enhancing your emotional awareness is a life long process.
When you reflect on community what comes to mind? There are seven pillars of a healthy community can you apply these pillars to your community? What is missing and what can you do to enhance your communities well being?
Involvement with the Sackville/Beaverbank Happy Community Project allowed me an opportunity to discuss “community” and listen to others perspectives. Both have value, sharing your knowledge while listening to other is a win-win skill that I encourage you to practice. All engaged participants enhance their awareness of other and broaden perspectives/strategies which assists us to manage self and relationships.
You are providing yourself and others an opportunity to practice Social + Emotional Intelligence©
The Happy Community Project is an evidence-based practice assisting others/self to engage and make a connection to enhance mental health well-being. As the group members shared one message rang true to me. My memories of a community are what I lived, not what I am living. The Happy Community Project is an experiential activity that meets the mental health needs of the participants. Lori Gosselin, "Sounding the Drum" outlines seven pillars of a community;
· Shared Leadership
Each pillar is essential if establishing an effective group that meets the needs of its group’s members. Creating a safe environment for others to be themselves as they process and try strategies to enhance Mental Health well being.
My partner and I chatted and compiled our own examples of community
· Having two or three neighbors our family could go to-day or night if you needed help and vise versa. (Support/Commitment/Shared Leadership/Authenticity)
· The “Block Parent” sign in our front window, just about every street had a safe place to go to clearly identified (Inclusivity/Support/Commitment/Collaboration)
· Mom mediating neighbor conflicts in our living room (Collaboration/Inclusivity/Collaboration/Authenticity/Support)
· Playing on the streets and in the yard with others (Inclusivity.........are you making the link?)
· Skating on First Lake, there would be hundreds of people to stop and chat with. Skating at night with a fire going in the cove (Camaraderie......)
· Hockey games/events/fundraisers/trips (Shared Leadership/Camaraderie/Support.....)
· Old Sackville Winter Carnival (Commitment/Inclusivity/Shared Leadership/Camaraderie)
· Old Sackville Downs horse racing track
· Sunday family meal
· Old Sunday flea market
Reflect on community what comes to mind? Discuss it with others! Having this knowledge then discuss, how can you foster community engagement? Sync your strategies with your beliefs and values and push yourself out of your comfort zone once in a while and try something new.
Strategies do not need to cost you money although these interventions are often the first to come to mind. There are a multitude of free or cheap strategies to engage in to benefit you, your family and community. No one needs to be excluded because of their socio-economic status or ability. Find out what motivates you!
What you need to do next is act! Invite a few friends to engage in the activity or chat with others you meet. The goal is to engage with other to build a healthier you/community. Be the change!
“Imperfect Perspectives" will consist of written and video format. The writing and videos will be imperfect as I am the composer and director and I am perfectly imperfect! Be genuine, have the hard conversations and be compassionate to self and other. Be empowered!